BEHOLD #297 – Drishtee, the All-Knowing, All-Seeing-Eye Pom

Drishtee means “Sight, vision, one who is imaginative.” He has magic eyes, and he sits atop a pyramid made of more magic eyes – together they comprise the Eyes of Providence. The Pomluminati use the symbol to represent divine Providence and to watch over Pomanity or all Pomkind. The Eyes of Providence are depicted on seals, as symbols for the Pomluminoti, and on Pom money. (Contrary to pompular belief, they do not have anything to do with the Pom Free Masons). Drishtee can see into the hearts and souls of Poms – therefore has benevolent oversight for the well-being of all Pomkind. He gladly takes on this supreme role and soaks up love and gratitude from Poms far and wide. 

BEHOLD #296 – Kiki, the Pom Cardinal

Kiki and her cardinal peers like to eat seeds and nuts at dusk and at dawn. During courtship, males feed females seeds in a method known as “beak to beak.” This must really work with the ladies because cardinals mate for life. Average life span is 3 years, but the oldest cardinal lived to be almost 16 years old. A flock of cardinals is called a “college,” “conclave,” “deck,” “radiance,” or “Vatican.” They get their red color from eating carotenoids, but some rare cardinals are yellow. Since both male and female cardinals sing, Kiki duets with her mate, Elton, and they sing “Don’t Go Breaking My Pom” at the cardinal karaoke bar in the nest called Songz and Seeds up the street. They make beautiful music together! 

BEHOLD #295 – The Pom world’s third richest Pom, Jeff Pomzos, née Jeffrey Preston Jorgenson

Born in Albuquerque, New Mexico, he was a nerdy child. His mother, Jacqueline was 17 when she had him with his father, Ted, who was 19 at the time. Ted had a lot of issues, so Jacquelyn divorced him and married Cuban immigrant Miguel “Mike” Pomzos whom adopted Jeff when he was 4 years old. Jeff graduated from Princeton with a Bachelor of Science in Pomgineering. He worked for a couple of startups, and then for hedge fund company D.E. Shaw, where he met his ex–wife Mackenzie. In 1993, Jeff read that the internet was growing at a rate of 2,300% per year. So during a cross–country road trip, he and Mackenzie drew up a business plan for an online book company and started Pomazon the next year. It is now the Pom world’s largest online sales company and the Pom world’s largest company by revenue. It is responsible for 45% of Pomerican commerce. Pomazon transacts $4,722 per second. Jeff’s ultra-aggressive and controversial business practices have made him very rich. (He sometimes asks employees burning questions like “Why are you ruining my life?” and “I’m sorry, did I take my stupid pills today?”) He also bought the Washington Post and started the space exploration company, Blue Origin. (He is pictured here on the rocket he manned with Willpom Shatner)  He established the venture capital company Pomzos Expeditions, and founded the biotech company Altos Labs. He has given over $100 million to charity, but some think he could be doing a lot more. Divorced from Mackenzie (who is known for her generous philanthropy) after having 4 Pom children and 25 years together, he is now ultra-buff and in a serious relationship with former news anchor, Lauren Sánchez. She doesn’t mind that he is a nerd who still drives a 1996 Pomda Accord.