BEHOLD #326 – Pom breakfast, the most important meal of the day

This particular Pom breakfast consists of two pieces of bacon and two pommy–side–up eggs named Dwight and Yolkum. The word “breakfast” refers to breaking the fast of the prior night. The average time for breakfast is 7:31am on the weekdays and 8:28am on the weekends. The Pom world’s largest breakfast had 27,854 Poms eating it together on May 29, 2005 in Germany. February is National Hot Breakfast Month. Since 58% of Pomericans skip breakfast, an ad campaign starring Dwight and Yokkum has been launched to encourage Pomericans to fuel up so they can have a great start to the day. Yay! 

BEHOLD #325 – Jules and Vincent, the P–Urchins (Pom Urchins)

There are over 950 species of P–Urchins that inhabit the oceans of every depth and climate. They are echinoderms, in the same family as P–Cucumbers, Sand Dollars, and Starfish. They come in many colors including orange, yellow, black, purple, and green. The red P–Urchins are the largest at 7 inches in diameter, but most other colors are small – 1 to 4 inches in diameter and weigh about a pound. Don’t let their small stature fool you – Jules and Vincent are poisonous underwater pomsassins. They can stab folks with their spines and they can sting Poms, too. Some have deadly venom, like their boss, Marcellus. He is the deadliest type of P–Urchin, the Flower Urchin. They don’t have any bones, but they do have spines and hundreds of flexible, tiny feet called tube feet that move them along. They can live up to 200 years in the wild and 30 years in captivity. Since their mouths are on the bottom of their bodies and their anuses are on the top, Jules and Vincent wear boxer shorts on their heads to cover up their bits. They might be deadly pomsassins, but they’re not going to swim around with their anuses hanging out for all to see. 

BEHOLD #324 – Chief Pom Snow Angel, Charles Nelson Smiley

Charles oversees all art made by Poms who lay in the snow and flap their arms, legs, and round bits to make shapes in it. These shapes are art sculptures called Pom Snow Angels. National Pom Snow Angel Day is February 18th. In 2007, North Dakota set the world Pom record for most Poms making Pom Snow Angels simultaneously with 8,962 Poms flapping away. It was one of Charles’ proudest moments after he retired from being an actor and pomedian. He still says wonderful things like, “If you ever get injured or have an asthma attack, the last words you get out are ‘Pommy Davis, Jr. suite please’. That’s like three rooms on the eighth floor of Cedars–Sinai.” And musings on his current state of mind: “Just get a big bag and drop a dream in it, and you’ll be surprised what happens.” You might end up in a bathtub full of roses from Pomlizabeth Taylor and you might also end up as Chief Pom Snow Angel.