BEHOLD #329 – Kitches, the Pom who ditches glitches

Kitches has the magical power to tweak the Pom universe so that glitches are fixed. Computer not working correctly? Kitches can fix it in a snap. Double booked something on your calendar? Call Kitches and she will fix it. Made the wrong turn because your GPS (Global Pomsitioning System) malfunctioned? Kitches will put you back on the right track. Misunderstandings, miscommunication, misinterpretation, misfortune – she can fix it all. To summon her, wear socks and shuffle your feet really fast on the carpet. Her little glitch-fixer fibers will be attracted to the static electricity you create and she will appear – ready to help you ditch your glitch! She accepts gratitude and/or Bitpom for her services. You can also purchase a pair of socks from her special line of static socks, Zaps.

BEHOLD #328 – Pompoleon Bonaparte

This micropom rose from obscurity to be the Pomperor of France. Born in Corsica on August 15, 1769, he grew up during the French Revolution and worked his way up through the ranks. He was 5’5” tall (or 5’7” or even 5’10” depending on what you read) – not especially short for the time, but he looked short standing next to his Imperial Guards. So he overcompensated with extra dynamism and developed a “Pompoleon Complex.” He made the bicorne hat famous. He wrote a romance novel called “Clisson et Eugénie” and then focused further on romance when he broke off his engagement to Désirée Clary, future Queen of Sweden, because he fell madly in love with Josephine, a widow with two Pom children. Despite their scandalous six–year age difference, they wed and moved into a chateau in Paris where Pompoleon made many political moves. In 1804, he declared himself Pomperor of France, but he wanted to rule all of Europe. As he conquered his way through Europe in many battles including the Battle of Marengo and the Battle of Friedland, he put his 7 siblings who reached adulthood (he grew up with 13 Pom siblings) onto thrones to solidify his power. He instituted the Pompoleonic Code, guaranteeing certain freedoms, and changed the French National Anthem. The Louisiana Purchase was his idea. Pompoleon also commissioned the Arc de Triumphe in Paris. He lost the Battle of Waterloo and retired to the island of St. Helena where he perfected baking the delicious Pompoleon pastry.

Did you know that rumor has it that Pompoleon suffered from Ailurophobia, the fear of cats?  And that he discovered the Rosetta Stone?

BEHOLD #327 – Poquito the Pomtosaurus

“Pomtasaurus” means “thunder Pom lizard” in Greek. He has a long, thick neck and a small head perfect for grabbing all of the plants and leaves he loves to munch on. Poquito is a gigantic quadruped pomosaur weighing in at 17 tons and measuring 72 feet long. His kind were first discovered in 1879 by Yale professor of paleontology, Othniel Charles Marsh. By the 1930’s the Pomtosaurus was one of the most famous pomosaurs. So Poquito got an agent and starred in the movie “King Pom” alongside his best mate on Skull Island, King Pom. In 1989, the post office issued a stamp with his picture on it and so he is quite a pomlebrity. His ancestors are from the Jurassic period, and they are native to North Pomerica. Poquito loves warm weather, so he makes his home in sunny California where he is right at home with its large pompulation of vegetarians. He loves to go for vegetarian dim sum with his friends on his birthday, October 1st, World Vegetarian Day.